Neighborhood holiday decorations getting a little risqué

Afternoon walks around my neighborhood have been much more entertaining lately. For instance, today when I walked by the Crazy Kids’ House the oldest boy scaled the family minivan during what appeared to be an epic game of hide and seek or tag or some such. I asked him if mini-van scaling was acceptable behavior in his household and he said it was cool cuz he was standing on the roof rack. Ahh. The old roof rack defense.

Aside from the neighborhood hellions, the holiday season has brought a highly entertaining crop of lawn and home decor.

Of course, there’s these guys:

Check out my delightfully tacky
Christmas sweater with an uber-hipster knit cap.

Yeah I’m wearing a snowman sweater.
You wanna makes something of it?
I’ll sick my deer on you.

And there’s this guy — who my sister Laura pointed out at Thanksgiving:

Note to self: Nighttime surveillance of neighborhood
holiday inflatables with camera phone is ineffective.

The problem with decorative inflatables for shady neighborhood photographers such as myself is that they’re often not inflated during the day, which means I have to do my reconaissance at night, which means I get photos like the one above that look like outtakes from an episode of “Ghost Hunters: Yard Inflatables Edition.”

Luckily, the Ollie’s down the road had the same inflatable on display:

How you doin’? Wanna see what’s behind my choo choo?

I know what you’re going to ask, and no, Sexy Snowman is not wearing pants. He’s lounging in nothing but his vest, mittens and come-hither smile waiting for someone to inquire about his snowballs. Does the world really need a frisky Frosty?! Seriously, why do holiday decorations need to be turned into creepy lawn porn? Is nothing sacred?!

Perhaps I’m being a tad oversensitive. Maybe I’m the creepy one.

Let’s not think about that too much.

Moving on. Here’s another unconventional Santa:

It’s blurry cuz I didn’t want to get too close.
What? The dude has a gun.

That’s right. It’s a snowman with a camo vest and a gun (what’s with all these be-vested snowmen?). It’s a good thing he’s wearing that orange hat — don’t want anyone mistaking him for a deer. This particular house also had a NASCAR-themed inflatable featuring the Home Depot No. 20 car driven and pitted by snowmen (of course). Also a Minnie Mouse who was dressed up as Santa (Lily really liked that one). They have many, many other decorations as well — it’s a pretty fun house. (You know those little stick figure families you can stick on the back of your car? They have those, but instead of stick figures, they’re skeletons. This pretty much confirms their status as badasses. Also, they have a killer Halloween display).

Finally there’s Lily’s beloved “Parkly Deer”:

We prefer to be called Sparkly Deer. TYVM.

While the Parkly Deer themselves are pretty standard holiday lawn deer (well — maybe a they’re a little fancier than the standard white-wired variety) — they’ve come a long way since last Christmas.

Last year, the antlered Parkly Deer was knocked over before Christmas. And there he remained — along with his buddy and the tree at left — through New Years, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving … you get the point. He basically laid low for a year.

The folks who lived here mowed around him all year, but never righted him. Until a couple weeks ago. They picked Parkly Deer up from his leafy bed and added some more festive decor.

Parkly Deer might well inspire a character in my novel or one down the road … I have to believe that the type of person who mows around last year’s Christmas decorations all summer long is an interesting sort of person.