Finding grace and the permanent present

So during a yoga class last week there was this first-timer — a lithe woman in her 60s or early 70s whose daughter talked her into trying out a class while she was visiting from Georgia. She kept announced that she had no idea what she was doing (while bending her uber-flexible body in ways she had no idea it could go) and fretting that people would laugh at her.

I reassured her that nobody would laugh. That we’re all learning. 

At one point she looked over at me and exclaimed “Oh my god, you are so graceful.” 

At which point I did laugh. Because I don’t believe anybody in my 32 years on this little planet has ever called me graceful. Ever. 

In fact, any commentary on my mobile abilities usually centers around how not graceful I am. Or, if not that specifically, then maybe on how goofy I look when I attempt to be graceful. 

But actually, during yoga, I do feel graceful. In fact, it’s caused me to reassess some of my preconceptions about what I always thought I could or couldn’t do. It occurred to me during the class that it’s been about a year since I started yoga. And while I still can’t do crow for any amount of time without falling on my face — I’m getting closer. 

So maybe after all these years, my dance moves still resemble an amalgam of all the Peanuts characters with, like, a hint of Elaine, but dammit I can look graceful while standing in weird poses.

So that’s something.

Speaking of weird poses, my instructor said something that struck me as funny. We were all attempting this arm-balancing pose — sitting in lotus and holding our bodies up off the floor (Google says it’s called Scale Pose) — and I commented how awkward it was. 

Rhiannon said that most of yoga was like that — you put your body in these strange positions often enough and it gets used to it.

“You just kind of have to embrace the awkward.” 

Finally, a mantra by which to live my life!

So in honor of my first yoga anniversary, here’s me embracing the awkward today:

Luckily, I gave birth to two kids who are more than willing to embrace the awkward right along with me.

And here’s a grab bag of other random stuff: 

* For Christmas, Aunt Ann gave Lily a copy of “Fancy Nancy,” which has recently become one of Lily’s (and my) favorites. It tells the story of Nancy who is young sophisticate, preferring the finer and frillier things in life, while the rest of her family is kind of plain. Nancy decides to help her parents and sister out by offering them a class on being fancy, which they gamely participate in. And after learning that Christmas bows, garland and a plenty of ribbon can make any ensemble fancy, they all venture out to an uber-fancy pizza-and-parfait (i.e.: ice cream) dinner, which delights Nancy. I was skeptical about the princessy undertones of the book, but the ending message — to embrace your children for who they are and try to live in their world every no and then — is one I can get behind. And Lily definitely has Fancy Nancy inclinations — she loves wearing dresses gets strangely excited on the rare occasions that I put one on.